A change is going to come.

So one of my best friends is moving today to DR and it's so sad I feel like crying forever. I don't even remember not knowing you or you not coming to my house every Saturday and laughing at everything and those sleepovers we've had. I don't think people understand how much a uuperson could love another as much as I and our little group her. We would do anything for one another. Yeah, so sometimes we fight and we argue and all that blues but those bad memories are nothing compare to all the good ones we've had. Like when we wrote that song? Or when we went roller skating in that park by your house and I fell and did some thing like a 360 flip or when we went to the park and played that game on the slide? And one of my favorites: when Karina and I slept over your house and we went to sleep at 4 in the morning talking about old memories from DR.
think that people should be more appreciative on what they have because you never know what could happen. Someone could get sick or go missing or move away to another country and you might never see them again because they could die. And that's it. They reached their finish line and their race in life is done.
I don't even know why I'm thinking about death even though your only moving and we are going to talk tonight and probably every night this summer. I guess I'm just really sad that I'm never going to see you again. This entire year feels like our entire world just twisted and a million doors just opened and instead of all of us following each other we are going in different way, in different hallways, in different doors. We don't know if it's good or bad or if it might not even last. All we know is that a change has come upon us and that all we can do know is watch it happen.

Proud of myself

Hey!
So I've been going to college classes since the last time I wrote and it's been real hard but I think I could do this.
We had an essay to write for art history the other day and I, out of my entire class got the highest grade!! A+!! I don't think I've ever been so proud! Like I've never gotten such a wonderful grade! My professor said it was because I wrote my paper on one of my favorite pieces of art and I actually took my time to actually find the artist and interview her! When she allowed me to I felt so honored I didn't even know what to say! What really got me extra points was that I was honest and I explained every feeling I had on the matter. Many people just picked any piece of art and they didn't even like it but I loved mine incredible and I though it was inspirational and the story to the picture was very beautiful.
Then yesterday we went on a trip to this organization called project U.S.E. and it was probably the most amazing thing I have ever done!
So the trip was in NJ and it was in the wilderness and that's what I really loved about it! Every thing was so beautiful and bright with color and amazing and I don't think that many people appreciated the forrest as much as me. My favorite thing that we did was climb up this really high tree and we had to cross this sort of bridge like thing and we had to do this entire thing while we were 50 feet in the air. I know, scary right? I was so scared I think I could of died right then and there but Andy (a worker from project U.S.E. ) was saying the most motivational things that in the end I actually did it and I am still so proud of myself! I just can't believe I was so brave and it was exhilarating to be so high up! I wish I had looked down though because if I had I think That I would of felt even better. Although I didn't completely conquer my fear of heights, I took a big step forward
After that I feel like a different person. Like I feel like I could do anything in the world and that I could be someone huge and successful because it doesnt matter if i fall bacause all i have to do is pick myself up again and try again. I just feel like I could fly and my new friends are so supportive that I'm positive that they will catch me if I do.
"I am the master of my fate I am; the captain of my soul" (I'm not even sure if I said that write. )

Graduated high school

Hey so I graduated today and I'm really proud of myself for being the first to graduate from high school in my family <3 but also for being the last graduate from flushing high school. I'm not even sure if anyone will see this but of you are I just want to thank you Ms. Shields for being such a supportive teacher this year. I really needed that and I loved how you never let anyone bring any other student in class. Not many teacher did that and I'm very glad that you did. I'm sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to you or to any of my other teachers that helped me like my math teacher who actually cared on how I was doing and tutored me
everyday for an entire month (morning and after school) he was the best an thanks to him I passed the geometry regents by three point! (I'm TERRIBLE at Math so this is a HUGE accomplishment) it was the highest I EVER got in geometry!

Well tomorrow is a big day for me. I start my summer colleges classes and I'm super nervous for this. I hope I make friends and that I don't have to much trouble getting toy classes. So I'm off because I need to wake up early tomorrow. Thank you again for being such a good teacher and teaching me that it's never good to oppress people of any shape or form, whether they have a sad past or not, everyone deserves to be treated right!


PS. I'm going to continue writing in this blog so that people who read it can keep track of me. I plan on making it big someday no matter what obstacles I have to go through! Mostly I'm going to write poetry I guess or I'll post some of my novels chapters.I'll update every week on wednesday of I can.


PPS. Again congratulations Ms. Shields on your engagement and I wish you a beautiful wedding and a lovely life!

This is it...

Well this it and now it time to start the next chapter of life. Well to start off I just wanted to say good bye to Flushing High School and to all my teachers there. But I know It's okay and I know it can only get better from now on. I hope all the teacher and the students in that school have a good infinity and don't forget the great times we had in that school because even though the name is changing and the school will most likely never be FHS again, in my heart the school will always remain the same. So now I have to chart the next painting in my collection! COLLEGE!! and not just any college either. I'm talking about the one and only Fashion Institute of Technology! Yeah the one that only takes about 10 percent out of the 10 thousand students that apply! ( I'm most likely exaggerating) The same school who has alumni such as Calvin Klein and William Frake! Yeah that FIT! For free! I only hope that I come out as big as them! Well, I hope that when I get there and its time to chose what want to do with my life I will always remember where I started. So now that I'm about 2 second from finishing my latest painting I think it's time I go buy a new canvas big enough for all my hopes and dreams to fit on it :)  So good-bye to everyone in FHS and hello to FIT!  I will always love you ♥

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

So today after I came home from seeing my therapist she I finished reading the perks of being a wallflower and I got to tell you I don't think I ever loved a book as much as I loved this one! I don't know maybe it was because my therapist was telling me that its not good to think that other people have it worse then you because ow do you really compare two different problems and say one is worse if both people are going through a tough time. So then I go home and start reading and I see how charlie explains the exact same thing? Coincidence much? Well anyways I get it now how problems aren't really worse or better. They are just different. The book has become my favorite because well I think that charlie went through a lot and he was going through so much that it eventually over took him but in the end he did get better because he had people who love him and want to make him better. I have that too so at least I know that there is hope in everything and that  maybe you just have to look at the bright side. Like how Charlie has friends now so he feels so much better and he know there is no point to dwell on what happens, because it happened so there isn't anything to do about it now.

Musical status:

So disappointed in some of cast member and myself for not being as prepared as we should of been. I am very proud of some people who worked extra hard just to get the job done (not mentioning names) but I just want to say thank you for helping as much as you can even when thing are breaking down :) thank you for just being you!

First trip to the circus

 When I was young, about 6 years old, I went to a circus with my family in upstate New York. I had never been to the circus before and as this being my first time ever going to the circus I was a little scared. My knees would shake every time I thought about seeing those long trunked beasts and the creepy clowns. I could tell that my sister wasn’t sharing the same emotion as every time I would peak at her she would either be jumping of her seat, only kept put by the seat belt, or ask my parents how much longer we would have to wait to get there. When my mom finally turned back to us with a big pearly white smile and said that we were almost 5 minutes away, I almost peed on myself. I didn’t of course because I needed to show my younger sister that there was nothing to fear in the circus and if I showed her how scared I was she would think that she was braver then me and if she thought that then I wouldn’t be a good sister.

So I gave my teddy, Mr. Blankee, the most biggest hug I could give him silently asking him to protect me against the elephants. Thinking about it now I see how silly that was but I also remember believing that Mr. Blankee was the strongest living being alive. I used to think that that if the world was about to end and that if all the buildings were going to fall all I would have to do was hold up Blankee and he would protect me with all his mighty strength and that he would save all the people I love with his incredible flying skills. So as my feet touch the circus floor and I catch my first glimpse of an elephant, my first impulse is to make sure that Blankee sees it too and can save me incase anything happens. Off course the only thing that Blankee was keeping watch off was the ground as I was too short for me to hold on to him by the arm without dragging him.

The elephant was huge, ugly and was completely capable of stepping on me. I did the only brave thing I could think of and went behind my daddies’ legs so that he was standing between me and the monster. My mother worried by my sudden reaction comes by me dragging my sister along with her. She looks in the direction of the elephant and immediately understands what’s wrong, I under hand thought she had super powers. She let me hold her hand or the rest of the time and we stayed as far away from the elephants as we could.

Then the time came to when we were going to take a family picture and as a child I loved taking pictures but when I saw how the picture was going to be taken by a clown I stopped mid step and almost dropped Mr. Blankee. My father then came and picked me up along with Blankee, confusing my fear with tiredness from the long day. The clown only smiled and waved at me while I was shaking from the sight of his red tinted teeth. He had huge red shoes and a big baggy colorful outfit. His face was entirely painted white except his nose and lips which were painted red. He was almost as scary as the elephant except I was certain that even my dad could beat him up if he wanted to drink our blood.

My father sat me next to him on the little bench and my sister next to me with my mother on her other side. While I was mentally debating whether I should or shouldn’t send Blankee to fight him the clown took the picture and we left the stand.  As we made our way to the car I figured out why the clown hadn’t drank our blood. My mother probably mentally tricked him into thinking our blood was bad and so he didn’t waste his time. Now I understand that the only reason why the clown hadn’t drank our blood because he was a clown not a vampire.